Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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