remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
