Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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