We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
