if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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