new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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