I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
