just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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