Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
