This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
