Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
