Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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