remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
