White coat. Heels.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You've changed since you got that strap on
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
