pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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