I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
