Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
