You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
