The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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