I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
