Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
