We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
