im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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