i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
so much tequila, so little girl.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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