I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
