My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
