I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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