What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
