have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
