I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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