and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
