how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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