"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
