Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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