I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
