don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
