You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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