don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
