i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
