he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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