Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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