I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
