To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
