Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
