dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
