Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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