How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
