they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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