yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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