she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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