my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My dick has a subreddit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
