Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
