I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you would pick up someone in the library
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
