You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
