I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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