You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
