should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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