i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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