Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
