Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
