Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
