We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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