great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
