Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
