***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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